The Toxic Woman

Have you ever smelled propane gas? It smells like rotten eggs. A lot of people don’t realize that, in its natural state, propane gas is odorless. This means that you could breathe it in at length and not even know it. Given that it is an asphyxiating gas (it displaces oxygen in your lungs), high exposure can harm or even kill you. It’s also very flammable and, if enough is concentrated in an enclosed space and then ignited, it will cause an explosion, resulting in serious damage or even death.

To protect us against the dangers of propane, manufacturers add a foul-smelling chemical called mercaptan as a type of alert system. If you smell rotten eggs, you know you’ve got a leak and can act immediately to protect yourself and others. Hold that thought...

Propane’s “big brother”, natural gas (that which is piped into homes for consumption), contains propane, butane, methane, and ethane and poses similar health hazards to the aforementioned. According to Healthline:
Enter the toxic woman, the topic of this blog...

Like the noxious gases I just mentioned, she is “colorless” and “odorless”, in some ways even more dangerous to your person, as she goes undetected. Let me explain…

Have you ever known a woman who possesses a magnetic personality, someone who enters a room and immediately demands its attention? She is often the one you hear even before you see. She’s the one people talk about when she isn’t even present. She’s the one with the reputation which precedes her. You may have even seen her performing long before you ever got to know her personally.

Once you get to know this woman, you are enamored with her because, like with all her new relationships, she pours herself into you, making you feel special. You want to love her; she makes sure of it. You want to be her friend; she makes sure of it. You want to follow her, even; she makes sure of it. You want to idolize her; game over...


The toxic woman is an idol, by design. She crafts an image of herself that is transcendent, unachievable by those in her social circle; she makes sure of it. She is the queen, and you are her subject. If another woman comes along who threatens to steal her crown, she discredits her through disassociation, squashing the threat, passive aggressively, of course. Whatever her upper hand is (e.g., beauty, intellect, talent, etc.), she amplifies it as a social advantage, using it to downplay the strengths of others.

You scratch your head one day and ask, “When did this woman become my idol?” You’ve been groomed to see things her way, even though they are harmful to your person. You knew this to be true and yet you persisted in playing along. This is the very reason you often feel depressed after spending any time with her. You’d think that spending time around someone so confident and in control would make you feel much better, that some of it might rub off; yet, you seem to feel worse.
Maybe if you just were able to mimic her life, you’d share in this apparent happiness she espouses. Maybe if you were just a little more like her, you, too, would have all the ingredients for a “good life”.

This is her personal encouragement to you, whether she says so explicitly, or not:
Don’t have a good enough husband? Divorce the one you have and find one like hers. Don’t you wish you had kids like hers? Awww, too bad. Don’t feel beautiful enough? Find out what she uses to paint her face or dye her hair or where she shops for clothes. “Be like me,” she says, “Heck, I even have a better relationship with Jesus than you!”

While you’re at it, abandon who you are for the sake of your idol – breathe deep the noxious fruit of the toxic woman – and thumb your nose at the One who wonderfully created you. While your flesh idolizes the toxic woman, your new self is sickened by her. While she supposes superiority of religion, even, the truth is she is nothing more than a counterfeit, an avatar.


The toxic woman isn’t a “quiet spirit” because she’s too busy boasting.

Compared to a truly godly woman, the toxic woman is disgusting. The godly woman finds her worth in the Lord God alone, never seeking advantage over others, “adorning...the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” In fact, the godly woman seeks to help the disadvantaged to the glory of God (not so others may see and applaud her). The toxic woman does everything, directly or indirectly, in full or in part, to her own glory.

Why, pray tell, do you even know so much about this woman’s “amazingness”?

Truly amazing women have nothing to prove.


You know so much about this toxic woman because she makes sure of it! She’s a full-time campaigner and she’s really good at it. She got your vote, didn’t she? It’s time to rescind your vote, my friend. You’ve been duped. It’s time to detox. The process begins with exposing the darkness.


OK, back to that held thought...

Do you want an alert system in your soul to protect you against the toxic woman? Do you want the spiritual equivalent of mercaptan in you so that you can see and smell danger before it poisons you? Life is too precious to spend time being manipulated by idols (you have the power here, remember – there can be no idols without willing idolaters).

The very first thing you can do to protect yourself is to identify the toxic woman (or for that matter, any toxic person) and stop listening to them! Let their passive aggressive invitations to join in their dysfunction fall on deaf ears. Let their drivel dry up on the vine, for it is toxic to you, not meant for your consumption. The toxic woman’s tongue is poisonous, so STOP LISTENING!


I’m running out of space, lest I keep you here all day, but I challenge you to think about how the toxic woman uses emotionalism (aka “feelings”) to control her subjects. Consider how she twists Biblical doctrines, such as love and unity of the faith, to suit her end goals. Do not embrace her delusion. Here’s how...

The Holy Spirit is like the chemical manufacturer who adds mercaptan to propane; He adds the Word to your soul as an alert system to danger. The purpose of this blog is to encourage you to keep taking in His Word. The more you have, the more capable you’ll be in identifying toxic people (the focus of this blog, the toxic woman, is just one of many manifestations of this issue). The more capable you are, the greater your distaste for toxic women will be, in general. You’ll see and/or hear them a mile away, up to their antics; and sadly, you’ll witness the carnage behind them, the wake of insecurity, doubt, and depression. Don’t be counted among her idolaters.

One last point...

The Truth will always be offensive and upsetting to your flesh! Don’t misappropriate that feeling with the offensiveness your new self feels when it realizes you’ve been breathing toxicity into your soul (2 Corinthians 5:17). Your flesh will definitely “feel bad” when the Holy Spirit smashes its idols! Always consult the Bible and pray to God for discernment (James 1:5).

The only feelings that matter are the ones which are slaves to Truth.


Love in Christ,

Ed Collins