I guess I should start with a definition, huh? By “owning it” I mean that a person should not just accept who they are but embrace it fully.
In my experience, I can confidently say that most people are fakes. The advent of social media has only exacerbated this issue by allowing people to create virtual avatars and project lives which simply don’t exist. While there may be some truth mixed into one’s personal brand or public persona, the reality is that the avatar and the individual are two entirely different people. That’s just one symptom I’m pointing out, though. The issue is much more pervasive than just social media.
Instead of seeking truth about themselves, a lot of people simply alter their public image whenever they become malcontent with their life. This is nothing more than a rebranding exercise. While rebranding is a good thing to do in business in order to increase product sales, it’s often an extremely unhealthy practice for a human being to employ (the disclaimer here is that if God chooses to “rebrand” you – for example as a born-again believer and new creature in Christ – then that’s not just healthy but a beautiful transformation).
Rebranding yourself whenever you’re unhappy with your life is the wrong ointment for a festering wound. Until you own who you are (especially as a child of God) you will never heal.
Ask yourself right now if you like who you are. Do you like your personality? How about your physical appearance? What about your intelligence? Do you think you’re witty enough? Can you tell a funny joke or are you like me, not a comedian? Are you ok with the fact that you don’t like certain domesticated animals when others are offended by this very idea? Are you introverted or extroverted? And why should that matter? Yet it seems to, doesn’t it? Why doesn’t the world approve of you? Why is it so critical of you and why does it express this very thing every chance it gets? These are all questions that make us not want to own who we are. Together they comprise a type of social pressure that retards our sanctification in Christ and our sense of security in who we are, as individuals.
True security in self is something a believer ought to have in abundance and yet most don’t. Insecurity spreads like an infectious laugh, only more in a negative sense, like a plague. Insecure people personify the adage ‘misery loves company’. Often the best way to avoid “contamination” is to avoid contact with the infectious disease in the first place (e.g., stay off social media).
What I’ve written so far may seem like I’m waxing philosophical, but I’m not. A lot of people don’t own who they are, and the symptoms are obvious. It’s not too difficult to sniff out a fake when you run into one. They’re the ones with the phony smile and the disingenuous laugh. I’d argue it’s even easier to identify a person who does own who they are because they are distinctly different. They are comfortable in their own skin and it’s refreshing.
I read a quote recently that really got me thinking…
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
The meaning of this quote is that a person will be more likely to make statements they truly believe when anonymity protects them from repercussions. Now what could possibly be a worse prison sentence than having to hide behind a mask just to speak your own truth? The bigger question is, what might this reveal about a person’s sick heart?
For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
- Matthew 12:34b
The happiest people I’ve ever known are those who are truly comfortable in their own skin. They are the ones who “own it” at every level. If they’re in a good mood, they own it and refuse to apologize for being happy. If they get up on the wrong side of the bed and happen to be in a bad mood, they own that, too! I love it because honesty with oneself is a nonnegotiable, reciprocating aspect of true friendship. Without honesty between two people, can a healthy relationship even exist?
I’d rather be around someone who’s honest about themselves, even when they’re crabby, than someone who isn’t. At least I know what I’m dealing with on any given day. All the guesswork and trying to rummage through a meticulously maintained façade is exhausting and, to be honest, a real turn off. On the flip side, having to uphold a façade is, in the end, much more work than just being oneself. Agreed?
For the record, I’m still working this out in my own soul, so I’m not writing this condescendingly. Believe me, I know how to put up a good front. It’s an old protective measure I still whip out once and a while, to my own detriment. Afterwards, I always feel dirty and tired. So, just know that I’ve written this blog empathetically.
God wants us to be ourselves, to own who we are, to be honest people. He’s our best friend and if He’s anything, He’s honest, right? A good friend always brings who they truly are to the relationship, not an avatar.
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
- Colossians 3:9-10
Honesty breeds peace and contentment. Better sleep, too!
The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.
- Proverbs 11:3
Honesty is fostered by good habits. It begins with focusing on the right things (e.g., starting your days off in meditation and prayer).
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
- Philippians 4:8-9
Satan, the god of this world, has architected a system to distract you, to sow doubt and insecurity in you. You deserve much better than that! From eternity past, God has had better plans for you. Own your destiny!
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
- Psalm 139:13-16
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
- Ephesians 2:10
Like I wrote at the outset, I’d love to write an entire book on this subject. Until then, I’m hoping this blog will be sufficient to get you thinking. Maybe the next time your insecurity gets the best of you, just say to yourself, “This is who I am. This is how God made me. I need to own it already!”
Being yourself is the best way to be. You don’t need a mask to speak your truth or live your life as unto the Lord. Live righteously and unapologetically. Be free, my friend.
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins
